When Networking Events Feel Like A Drag

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Copyright © 2008 Mark Silver


Going to networking events is kinda one of those things you are 'supposed' to do for your business. Some people love'em, some people hate'em. But, the truth is, especially for a new business, making face-to-face and heart-to-heart contact with people is incredibly powerful.

Unfortunately, networking events can seem like pretty gross, low-energy, artificial affairs, with people glad-handing left and right, and business cards so thick in the air you can't even see where the complimentary bottled water is.

Let's take another look at networking, and see if we can find the heart in it, so that your business can actually benefit without you feeling yucked out.

The truth about networking.

What is a 'network'? According to the Oxford American Dictionary, a network is "a group or system of interconnected people or things."

If you're thinking of a networking meeting as a smash-n-grab raid, where people are just out to get immediate business, with all the friendliness of a shark tank... well, that's not really what a network is.

Spiritually, everything is connected. We are all One. As we see in the ecosystems around us, everything depends on everything else to really thrive. No one is an island.

Networking, from the heart, is really about discovering who else is a part of your business' ecosystem. Who are the close friends and colleagues, and who are the more distant acquaintances, each of which is still saying "attagirl/boy" rooting you and your business on.

Going to networking meetings isn't about getting a new client right then and there (although that does happen.) It's about creating a long-term support network for your business.

Hmmm... kinda strange... can that really be true?

Oh, yes it can. But only if.

Bring your authentic intention.

Instead of thinking you need to have just one single intention for every networking event you go to: "Must make valuable contacts," what if you could just be authentic? And I don't mean floppy authentic, meaning you show up and cry on everyone's shoulder (although I wouldn't rule that out.)

What if you could identify your true heart needs/emotional state, and show up with an intention that fit where you were?

You want a 'fer instance?' Okay, here's a fer instance.

Fer instance:

Wow, I'm feeling a little tender today, and I'm needing to not feel so alone. I'll go to that meeting with the intention of finding 2-3 people and asking their advice and feedback.

Another? Sure. Fer instance:

I notice I'm feeling a little low energy and shy, and I'm needing some depth. I'll go to the meeting with the intention of finding just one person to have a real conversation with about something important, business or not.

It could even be like this. Fer instance:

I'm feeling kinda energetic and adventurous, and the networking meeting seems not exactly my cup of tea. But, I'll go with the intention of finding 2-3 people who might be 'adventure buddies' to go with me to check out the wildflowers by the river at the park.

But that's not business networking.

Oh, yes, it is. You can find people that you have an authentic connection with, without betraying your emotional state to try to be in 'networking mode.' You can be your real self, and build trust with them.

And I bet you quite naturally end up telling each other about your businesses. And with that trust established at a deeper, more authentic level, there's a much better chance that they'll refer potential clients to you.

Is there more to it than that? Well, sure, there's always more. Let me share a couple of tips with you.

Keys to Heart-Centered Networking.

* Don't go for clients, go for referrals.

If someone you meet at a networking event is a potential client, they'll self-identify, or it will become obvious during a conversation.

So, take the pressure off you and them, and instead look for people to whom you would refer clients, and who would refer clients to you, too.

* Find your genuine curiosity in humanity.

The other person is a human being. Ask them questions about themselves. Ask questions about their business, about their family, about anything that's genuinely interesting to you.

And listen. Asking and listening seem like no-brainers, but when you get into 'networking mode' when you're only focused on 'getting business' it can be easy to forget to connect and learn about the person in front of you.

* Backend. Backend. Backend.

Networking is about building a long-term connection with people, not about immediate gratification. So, do yourselves a favor and get a good contact manager that will help keep track of the people you meet, and remind you to send thank you cards and 'nice to meet ya' emails.

I'm horrible at sending cards and emails- but if the contact manager 'bing' pops up in my face with a task to send an email or a card, I'll do it. Make it easy.

I have a favorite contact manager myself, and it's web-based. It's by a company called 37 Signals, and it's called Highrise: http://www.highrisehq.com

I happen to like it because it's web-based. Which means that our assistant can access it, and support me with tasks really easily. And I can access it even from a hotel while at a conference, or other event.

Networking can be fun, and it can fit who you are. You don't have to leave yourself at the door to have networking benefit your business, and your heart.

Oh, and one more resource: Biznik

You know, I've been thirsting for a real way for online and in-person networking to really work together. It rarely does. And yet, it can, and does, on Biznik.

Biznik is specifically for indie business owners, with this tagline: "Business networking that doesn't suck." How great is that?

I've been really impressed with the quality of the people there, and I've met the co-founders, Dan and Lara, and they are very cool, all about supporting people to get what they need.

I wrote a blog post about it, come and read it.

Or check Biznik out directly. (This is not an affiliate link. It does keep track of how many people I've sent their way, but I get no financial compensation whatsoever.

The best to you and your business,

Mark Silver


About the Author:
Mark Silver is the author of Unveiling the Heart of Your Business: How Money, Marketing and Sales can Deepen Your Heart, Heal the World, and Still Add to Your Bottom Line. He has helped hundreds of small business owners around the globe succeed in business without losing their hearts. Get three free chapters of the book online: http://www.heartofbusiness.com